Friday, May 15, 2009

A Humble Self-Introduction

Greetings, fellow citizens of Azeroth! I am Applebough, a humble fruit vendor you may have seen during your stops in Dalaran. For only 8 silver you can buy my tasty Goldenbark Apples, but I suppose that is advertizing and Blogspot might disapprove. But anyway...

I'm often quite busy with work, and had to borrow a kind druid passer-by to take my place while I typed this out in the Dalaran Visitor Center computer lab. I never imagined that typing would be so difficult, but I haven't kept up with my pruning lately, and typing with brittle branches is rough. (No pun intended!)

I suppose I should explain my sudden online appearance, as well as my recent posting at Nerf This Druid. It seems the blogger there, one "Averna," has been telling people that I taunt her, flaunt my leaves, and various other dreadful activities.

I am here to say that this jealousy-driven attack has hurt my feelings, and sadly, damaged my good reputation. I've always tried to be friendly to my customers, and while this Averna's constant glaring during the course of the day is disheartening, I've done my best to avoid letting it affect my work.

So I am here to set the record straight about Applebough the Fruit Vendor.
Hopefully this humble self-introduction will convince you that I am a kind tree, and maybe Miss Averna will realize that she too, through hard work and dedication, can one day have these leaves too.

I was born in Teldrassil, where most druids are raised (aside from those filthy cow people). I was raised to value tree-ly hygeine at a young age, and my caretakers often had me assist the locals of Dolanaar in their everyday tasks. This upbringing is what gave me my people skills and beautiful exterior, for which I am both loved and hated.

During my teenage years, I was exposed to a fruit vendor in Shattrath City. This poor soul was constantly being attacked by malicious onlookers who would crush and smash the fruits in the cart, while shouting in a cocky manner to the whole of the city. When I offered to help, the kind soul told me to flee the flea-infested Lower City district, and paid for my schooling in fruit vendorship in Dalaran, where I now have my business.

I enjoy my job, and meet many amazing people during the day. I can only hope that the hurtful slander being spread by this young and brazen tree named Averna will be dispelled quickly, so that I might return to my peaceful existence in Dalaran. I would also like to add that Bring It On was a dreadful movie.

Before I go, I'd like to invite you all to my fruit stand. We have a new shipment of Apple Juice for you to try!


  1. Interesting.

    You sound legitimately nice. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE?

    Perhaps, um. Perhaps, you could maybe give me, um, give me some tips, maybe, sometime, about how to get my leaves green?



  2. "Filthy cow people"?! I'm disgusted!

    I, for one, will continue to boycott you! More so now than ever!

  3. Apple bark tea makes my belly happy.

  4. Have you ever considered selling a line of leaf- and bark-care products? So many of us would like to have green leaves.

  5. I'd not considered that, Sydera, but that is an excellent idea! I'll see what I can do!

    And I just received a fresh supply of Apple Bark Tea, Inishi. :)

  6. Your so mean:( I thought all trees were friends even if I'm a cow on the inside.
    -Cowdereta from Thaurissan

  7. Filthy cow person!? I'm so hurt!