Sunday, May 17, 2009

A Tree's Despair



Yes, my friends. It continues.

I had hoped that my previous post, filled with all the sincerity and hope I could muster despite my feeling of distress, has done little more than to label me a liar, and even worse, a racist.

It seems that members of the Bonechewer guild "Ascended" have been lying about me within their guild chat for a while. What upsets me most is that this blog is the only channel I have access to for presenting my case.

Averna, the young tree who began this fuss, recently posted on her blog:

EDIT AGAIN: Two of my guildies have reported being harrassed by this so called "benevolent" Applebough. I *really* wish I had taken screenshots (I'm kicking myself here) , but here's the paraphrase: [Guild] [Norda]: i walked by Applbough today and he flipped me the bird and then, later:
[Guild] [Taletha]: Applebough hit me today.
HA! I knew it!! NOT SO BENEVOLENT AFTERALL!


How do I refute this??? I stand in Dalaran all day long, selling my wares honestly, trying to be kind to all who pass, and yet these accusations!

I have NEVER hit anyone, and I have it on good authority that this "Taletha" person is acting out in anger because of his own mathematical deficiencies. And while I have never been one to badmouth another Azerothian, do not even get me started on this "Norda" person...

As to the accusations of racism against the mighty Tauren people, my fruit stand is near the Alliance Center and the only Horde who generally come near there are young troublemakers and hoodlums. So yes, the only Tauren I have had exposure to are foul-smelling and ill-mannered. I would love to have a decent member of Tauren society come visit me, and I sincerely hope that my comment, regrettably inappropriate, has not turned them against me. I have since written a formal apology to Cairne, and am anxiously awaiting his reply.

This slander needs to cease. My leaves are falling out in the moonwell in the morning when I bathe, and before long, I will have neither my good reputation nor my beautiful foliage.

That is why I am making a plea to those who call themselves members of the "Friends of Applebough Society." Please, please help me to restore my tarnished reputation and allow me to live out a long and stress-free existence.

Friday, May 15, 2009

A Humble Self-Introduction


Greetings, fellow citizens of Azeroth! I am Applebough, a humble fruit vendor you may have seen during your stops in Dalaran. For only 8 silver you can buy my tasty Goldenbark Apples, but I suppose that is advertizing and Blogspot might disapprove. But anyway...

I'm often quite busy with work, and had to borrow a kind druid passer-by to take my place while I typed this out in the Dalaran Visitor Center computer lab. I never imagined that typing would be so difficult, but I haven't kept up with my pruning lately, and typing with brittle branches is rough. (No pun intended!)

I suppose I should explain my sudden online appearance, as well as my recent posting at Nerf This Druid. It seems the blogger there, one "Averna," has been telling people that I taunt her, flaunt my leaves, and various other dreadful activities.

I am here to say that this jealousy-driven attack has hurt my feelings, and sadly, damaged my good reputation. I've always tried to be friendly to my customers, and while this Averna's constant glaring during the course of the day is disheartening, I've done my best to avoid letting it affect my work.

So I am here to set the record straight about Applebough the Fruit Vendor.
Hopefully this humble self-introduction will convince you that I am a kind tree, and maybe Miss Averna will realize that she too, through hard work and dedication, can one day have these leaves too.


I was born in Teldrassil, where most druids are raised (aside from those filthy cow people). I was raised to value tree-ly hygeine at a young age, and my caretakers often had me assist the locals of Dolanaar in their everyday tasks. This upbringing is what gave me my people skills and beautiful exterior, for which I am both loved and hated.

During my teenage years, I was exposed to a fruit vendor in Shattrath City. This poor soul was constantly being attacked by malicious onlookers who would crush and smash the fruits in the cart, while shouting in a cocky manner to the whole of the city. When I offered to help, the kind soul told me to flee the flea-infested Lower City district, and paid for my schooling in fruit vendorship in Dalaran, where I now have my business.

I enjoy my job, and meet many amazing people during the day. I can only hope that the hurtful slander being spread by this young and brazen tree named Averna will be dispelled quickly, so that I might return to my peaceful existence in Dalaran. I would also like to add that Bring It On was a dreadful movie.

Before I go, I'd like to invite you all to my fruit stand. We have a new shipment of Apple Juice for you to try!